With trepidation I clopped my hooves downthe linoleum hallway that leads to Dr. Lynn’s office.  She told me over email this past weekend that she was looking forward to catching up on my blog before we met. Great. Get ready for scrutiny of every last minute detail of every single experience I share with the world. I would block her IP address if I only knew how.

Dr. Lynn: So… Booby Muffin. That’s an interesting name for a cat.

Me: Thanks. It just jumped out at me.

Dr. Lynn: And why do you think ‘Booby’ jumped out at you? Have you considered that maybe you’ve got pent up sexual frustrations?

Me:  Actually, it refers to the Blue Footed Boobies of the Galapagos. Jeez Lynn, your reading comprehension must not be what it used to. Didn’t you read Kitten Lures Sex Kitten?

Dr. Lynn: Yes, I read it. But I’m afraid that was just a cover. A donkey’s self-aware attempt to conceal the true origins of his actions. Only a trained can see it. I actually don’t believe that you’ve really been to the Galapagos.

Me: I’m sorry you don’t believe me. I can fly though Lynn. I thought we had covered this.

Dr. Lynn: Let’s move on to something that concerns me greatly. And this is your relationship with Mr. Binkus.

Me: Binkus…

Dr. Lynn: I think the money and prestige that the Binkus Wings account would bring you is not worth the demoralization that your relationship with Binkus inflicts on you. I mean, are you really going to dress up like a chicken? And I didn’t know you went to Texas.

Me: Yes you did, I told you.

Dr. Lynn: No, you didn’t.

Me: Did too.

Dr. Lynn: No, you did not.

Me: Did too.

Dr. Lynn: Okay, let’s move on to Lisa. I think you must subconsciously have known that Lisa wasn’t a candidate for romance Donkey Pegasus, and that’s why you chose her.

Me: That’s redonkulous Lynn.

Dr. Lynn: I don’t think it is. I think it’s time you consider the fact that a relationship with a human might not be a well thought-out idea. For one, your relationship could never be accepted by society. And you could never have children, which is a meaningful life experience that I think you shouldn’t miss. Especially given your affection to your new pet and the obvious issues with your parents.  Issues, I will add, that you’re too blocked up to discuss.

Me: You really think that society would shun me? I mean, they accept me at restaurants, don’t they? IKEA thinks my money’s good. My work sure thinks I live up to human expectations. So why can’t I have a romantic relationship with a human? I mean, why not?

Dr. Lynn: I… uh, well. That’s… that’s a difficult thing to…, uh, well. There’s not much of a precedent her. You’re sort of an anomoly Donkey Pegasus.

Me: Maybe I’m a precedent setter. And I am not an anomoly.

Dr. Lynn: Yes I’m afraid you are.

Me: Am not.

Dr. Lynn: Uh, okay. How about Vook and Pepe? Haven’t heard from them in awhile. Is there something wrong?

Me: No Lynn. I’m just trying to live in the present like you told me. And Vook and Pepe could be a million miles away at this point.

Dr. Lynn: No, actually they couldn’t.

Me: Sure they could.

Dr. Lynn: No, that’s impossible.

Me: Not it’s not.

Dr. Lynn: Time’s up. Sorry. To be honest Donkey Pegasus, I think our session today was a setback.

Me: I didn’t.

Dr. Lynn:  Well I did.

Me:  Did not.

Dr. Lynn:  Goodbye Donkey Pegasus.