Hell. It was beautiful this weekend. The sun shimmered upon the wind ruffled bay and the sailboats dotted the oceanscape like little paper hats. It was bliss. So I’m told.

I was in the office all weekend, burning brainpower over the commercial challenge Binkus hurled at me on Friday. It was useless. I sat brain-dead in the darkened office, the air conditioner humming, a pigeon flying desperately towards the window of the building across the street. No pigeon, it’s a mirror! That’s not your friend! That’s you—ohhh. That poor dirty bird slammed beak-first into the highrise and slid down the vertical death slide slow at first, then gaining speed, so that by the time the poor little guy was nearing the sidewalk he was probably pushing 50 MPH. I ran downstairs to help him (as if any person walking by would help a dying pigeon!) but the bird was nowhere in sight. Vanished. Crashed into nothing? Incinerated completely on impact? Caught by an awning? Netted by a giant butterfly collector? (No, the collector isn’t giant. The butterflies he catches are…) Caught by an open-trailered cotton haul? Oh I hope so… I couldn’t get that pigeon off my mind. I skulked back up to my office. It was 2:15pm on a Saturday. I could almost feel Booby Muffin’s anticipation for me to fly home and play. I wanted out but at the same time, with the Binkus account, so badly I want in.

But I couldn’t get the pigeon off my mind. Sure, this bird died by accident (or was it volition?) but so many others don’t get the chance. On Saturday I was especially thoughtful of brother chicken. With that in mind, here’s all I was able to muster in my Binkus Wings commercial brainstorm. Bev Binkus had some “complications” with a “procedure” she had “done” so luck tossed me a few extra days. But I’m not sure, in the end, that they’ll help. Here’s what I’ve got for the 30-second Binkus Wings commercial. Let me know what you think:

Hi kids and parents! I’m Binky the Binkus Wings Chicken. I made up a song! Do you want to sing it?

When you bite into my flesh and bones
And eat my skin with pleasure groans
Then dip my meat into the sauce
Discard my leg with just a toss
Don’t forget I died for you!
So parts of my body you could chew!

When You Eat Binkus Wings…. I hope you don’t have bad dreams.

Great job kids! Now let’s go eat my body!

So… uh… what do you think? I mean it, give me your honest opinion. I might… you know… be a little too close to it.